Yes. I know now that no amount of external validation can sustain me. If ten awards in one ceremony couldn't do it, then stadiums of fanatic cheering fans cannot fill that void. It is a chasm as powerful and as large as a black hole. It is in my mind and the only way to heal the fracture is to accept, integrate, understand, adapt and move on. Internal validation is the only true sustaining source of a healthy but not inflated ego. Once that part is mastered, the rest is all academic.
Have You asked yourself what does it mean for you to identify yourself with that experience when you were teenager?
Yes. I know now that no amount of external validation can sustain me. If ten awards in one ceremony couldn't do it, then stadiums of fanatic cheering fans cannot fill that void. It is a chasm as powerful and as large as a black hole. It is in my mind and the only way to heal the fracture is to accept, integrate, understand, adapt and move on. Internal validation is the only true sustaining source of a healthy but not inflated ego. Once that part is mastered, the rest is all academic.